My move to Phoenix, Arizona is complete. I still drive to Los Angeles for film work but for the most part, I am here in Phoenix.
It’s a new year - and now it’s also Lunar New Year and it is the year of the horse. And with that I hope that this year will be a good year. I keep hearing that this is supposed to be my year - or at least, finally I could get a break in my career.
Just to be honest - mostly with myself, I need to realize where I was mentally at the end of 2025. I would be lying if I didn’t say that I wish I was dead. There are times that I feel the more I work, or the harder I work, the less anything seems to happen. Sadly, as it stands, I cannot afford to chase my dream anymore. At the age of 51 I need to accept that, and try to live the best life I can now. I am exhausted from trying….
So, I had an opportunity to move to Phoenix to be around friends and family and I took it. I am around people who love me and support me…and that was something I did NOT get in Los Angeles.
Los Ángeles is very lonely. Most people did not respond to my phone calls, messages, or texts at all, and that only pushed me farther into isolation and mental depression. I wandered around by myself….and as much as I enjoy my own company; it was really started to wear me down.
So…I don’t know where this new journey will lead me….but I am hopeful, well at least that is what I tell myself. I came out to focus on my writing but a part of me is still afraid to try because I could not make my film career happen. I am too scared and too exhausted to try something else - especially if I fail. I don’t think I could handle that.
Either way, I am here now and I have to make it work!
