The opening scene is vivid and unsettling. The poetic language woven into the intro adds to the effect rather than distracts. That's evidence of strong storytelling instincts.
The narrative is well-paced and cinematic. You're “writing within the camera lens” (a phrase I use with my students), and doing one better by layering in auditory textures.
Most importantly, you’ve checked the big box for Chapter One: “And then what happened?”
Thanks for sharing and pulling me into your creative world, Michael. Please tag me again when you post more.
Your prose is amazing. This version is EXPONENTIALLY better than the first. It flows, the description is full and flowing and your defiantly setting a scene. You took to heart paid by the word. I haven’t gotten to your character yet, but honestly, Michael, I’m blown away. It’s not just good, its really wonderful. You are a much better novelist than screenwriter.
Wow @Eliot Ash thank you so much! I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the kind words. I know how experienced of a writer you are, so I wear this compliment proudly!
The opening scene is vivid and unsettling. The poetic language woven into the intro adds to the effect rather than distracts. That's evidence of strong storytelling instincts.
The narrative is well-paced and cinematic. You're “writing within the camera lens” (a phrase I use with my students), and doing one better by layering in auditory textures.
Most importantly, you’ve checked the big box for Chapter One: “And then what happened?”
Thanks for sharing and pulling me into your creative world, Michael. Please tag me again when you post more.
Wow thank you so much man. Thank you for the great feedback
Your prose is amazing. This version is EXPONENTIALLY better than the first. It flows, the description is full and flowing and your defiantly setting a scene. You took to heart paid by the word. I haven’t gotten to your character yet, but honestly, Michael, I’m blown away. It’s not just good, its really wonderful. You are a much better novelist than screenwriter.
Wow @Eliot Ash thank you so much! I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the kind words. I know how experienced of a writer you are, so I wear this compliment proudly!